It’s time to bring forth Your Message for all foster children across our nation - An invitation to each of you!
It’s time to bring forth Your Message for all foster children across our nation
- An invitation to each of you!
Article Written by: Louise Keramaris with content and editorial undertaken by Stacey Huish
16th September 2020
Stacey Huish is an outstanding passionate rare woman who did the miraculous – in Stacey’s own words “A woman having “ The Man” talks with young men and helping them to transition into healthy functioning adult men!” Yes, you heard that right! Let me share a bit of Stacey’s story with you now that I have your interest.
At four years of age, Stacey had a vision come to her where she totally understood her purpose and reason for why she is here on this earth! The vision was so vivid that to this day this is what she holds up and shares with everyone she meets and the platform of the 1000 Ripple Effects Project. This vision that Stacey saw, was one where she saw herself building homes and schools for children and young people in the world! Stacey saw her purpose as being a mum to all the kids in the world. This was so clear to her and from that day onwards Stacey has seen the “divine plan unfolding” and becoming a reality.
At 19 years of age, Stacey came across a unique communication skills course targeting leaders seeking to bring about peace in the world. Stacey jumped right in and enrolled in this intense 8 week communications skills course knowing that these skills were going to contribute to peaceful conflict resolution with the aim of bringing about peace in the world. In this course there was only one day that Stacey had just to herself, the rest of the time was totally immersed in learning and practicing these skills.
These skills were pivotal to catapulting the course of Stacey’s life and transforming her relationship with her parents. Stacey practiced these skills with her parents and in effect taught them to be better parents. This was the magic that Stacey was looking for that she could see as her super power with how she would work with children and young adults.
Soon after this experience Stacey met up with several young adults who had grown up in foster care. Stacey listened intently to all their stories. Some of the kids grew up in amazing homes, full of love, care and kindness. They experienced really beautiful loving parents that were always there for them, guiding them, teaching them. However, Stacey also met with some of the children that had grown up in homes where they were neglected. This left a scar on Stacey’s soul and at the same time she knew that these would be the children and young people that she was destined to work with.
When Stacey spoke with foster care kids who had left their foster home and shared with them her vision about this place called "home" she was seeking to create, the kids in foster care said to Stacey that they wished they had something like this when they left their foster parents. The kids shared stories about how they were not ready to live on their own, and there were many occasions where Stacey just burst into tears and told them how she had wished she could have built this home years ago.
Stacey has had the privilege of having had more what she calls “The Man” talks with young boys from the ages of 19-26 years than the years that make up Stacey’s age today! Stacey could see clearly from the first meeting with a young man, when there had been “no man or scarcely the presence of a man” in the boys she met with. Stacey also knew that if she did not have “the Man” talk with them then and there, seizing the moment, that possibly no one may take on this role with this young man. Stacey understood that the consequences would be that these young men would remain lost little boys forever.
Stacey took the time to develop the trust with each young man and spent hours covering things like body image issues, parenting, being a husband, being a father, and what it means to contribute in a relationship, in a partnership, in your business and in your community.
Stacey soon saw a thread unfolding of what she describes “men not doing their job” and where “men are not the problem, men are the solution”. Stacey went about running workshops on parenting skills training. What was apparent is that she saw parents that were not adults. Stacey had to teach them how to be an adult first before she could teach them parenting skills. Stacey was just 19 years old when she ran these courses.
During many years of teaching parenting skills training, Stacey witnessed children raising children. “Oh, these people were parents, but they were not adults”. “These 30, 40, and 50 year olds were still children. They acted and behaved liked children.” Stacey says, "It is impossible for a parent to teach their own children how to be adults when they themselves are still children".
These parents had never been taught what it was to be an adult or how to be an adult.
It made perfect sense that the concept of what it means to be an “adult” was a foreign one.
As a 19 year old child who learnt these skills and then used them on her parents with great success, Stacey knew she had a gift in this area. Stacey knew that if she could learn these skills as a child then she could teach these to the parents of children who in turn could teach their children. Stacey thought to herself, “if there are these kids right here needing guidance, then surely there will be others who need guidance as well.” Stacey recalled her vision many times over in her life and set in train a series of events to make this happen.
Stacey’s personal invitation to each of YOU:
This invitation is to each of YOU reading this to take the time to reflect on the most vulnerable children and youth here in Australia, that is, kids in foster care.
What I am about to share with you is not only alarming and something that does not get much “air time” in most media but it’s a reality of what is happening right now in Australia.
This issue has been silent for far too long. I’ve taken it upon myself to raise the awareness of what is happening in the real lives of children living in foster care.
My mission in sharing this message is to share this message with each of YOU and inspire and move you to be part of the movement to change the lives of children in foster care forever.
It’s an invitation to each of you to actively support children in foster care in a heartfelt, meaningful way.
The alarming facts about children AFTER they leave foster care:
Here are some alarming facts about what is happening for children in foster care.
· Did you know there are currently 46,619 kids in foster care in Australia?
· 71 % of kids that leave foster care end up homeless.
· Every year, approximately 600 kids that turn 18 years of age leave foster care. 426 or 71% of these children end up homeless
· The rate of unemployment amongst kids in foster care is 47%
A typical scenario that a child in foster care can expect:
When a child living in foster care turns 18 years, the government ceases paying the foster care family the allowance. The foster care family then will tell their 18 year old they must leave this home as they are now too expensive for the family to support. They are told they are now an adult and can make their own way in life. So in effect what happens is that a child has their “18th birthday, they celebrate and have cake” and then in the next breath these same children are asked to leave and subsequently are at risk of homelessness and ultimately go hungry. This is the typical “happy 18th birthday to look forward to”! A very grim picture.
The reality is that a child in foster care does not get the guidance they need about life, love or relationships. If they do get into trouble after they leave their foster care home they have few people to turn to get help. If they find themselves homeless they rarely go back home to their biological family nor their foster family and there is not the direct assistance from the government. There is an 8 year waiting list for public housing here in Australia.
A typical scenario of a child not in foster care can expect:
The child may actually stay with the family unit until approximately the ages of 24 to 26 years. The child will receive guidance from both or either parent about life, love, relationships. If they get into trouble they can turn to one or both of their parents. On most occasions they can go back home again if they need to.
Adult Brain Development – The Facts (let’s expand on this)
Here are a few facts drawing on key research about brain development that are not that well known!
“The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so” (University of Rochester Medical Center)
“Our brain changes a lot between birth and adolescence. It grows in overall size, modifies the number of cells contained within, and transforms the degree of connectivity. The changes don’t stop once you turn 18 years of age. In fact, scientists now think your brain continues maturing and fine-tuning itself well into your 20s.” (Alexis Wnuk)
However, and here’s what the research tells us – “the brain of a young person between 18-25 years of age still thinks and acts like a child regardless of the gender of the child”.
“We know that it is important to provide healthy role modeling for teens, and to involve them in learning about their own limitations and brain development during these critical years, especially if it means a lifetime of consequences from the choices made. Also, it may be advantageous to involve educators, especially if it is determined that certain subjects are learned best during particular stages in brain development. As the field develops even further, it may also involve policy makers in advocating for the adolescent and young adult. For instance, consider these many disparities among current policy: driving age is 16 years old, voting and most adult decisions can begin at age 18 years, yet one cannot legally drink alcohol until the age of 21 years or rent a car until the age of 25 years, but one can be tried as an adult for murder at the age of 14 years.”(Hope Brookens)
Steve Biddolph states that when kids turn teenagers, they need more advice, guidance not less.
Ultimately then, all children still need guidance about most things in life, parental love and a place that they feel safe and secure to call their home.
My invitation to you: How you can help inspire and show love to all foster kids?
My invitation to you is to spread a message of love and hope to all foster kids across this country. I see this critical because:
· You are potentially the only mum and dad these kids will have!
· You may be the only person who shares the message you share with each child.
· You may be the one who has the missing piece to their puzzle.
· You may just say something that really sticks with these kids for the rest of their life.
· Just reflect on this for one moment, it may well be your words that make the real difference in bringing about a belief in the relationships that are possible.
· Your words will bring comfort, joy and reassurance
· You might be the only one who tells them what they need to hear.
You can do this by recording your own message through one of two mediums as a mother or father type mentor to a child by following the attached link.
www.1000rippleeffects.com/ml_videos.html - A Mother’s Love Message
www.1000rippleeffects.com/fgv_videos.html - A Father’s Love Message
Why is this recorded message important?
Here is a real life example of a little girl’s story I had the privilege of hearing first hand:
*This is a true story of a young girl. This girl wanted to help the project and shared her story. She remains anonymous. This girl is someone I know personally and have watched her grow up.
This one girl would read stories that other people had written as this was her only way to access her “mother and father” figures and possibly for her the only way of getting the information she needed about life.
These messages were what this girl turned to when she had a bad day, she could read the stories and gain a sensation that made her feel like there were people out there that cared for her and the stories felt like a “warm supportive hug from the heart”. At night she could read the stories and feel like the stories had tucked her into bed and kissed her good night.
If this little girl had achieved something wonderful, she would read a very specific story to give her the self love she needed. One man in the story would say "I am proud of you" and she would pretend it was her own father saying it to her. This story got read over and over again with every accomplishment.
I invite you to really allow this to sink into your heart and soul. The real impact you can make to the life of a child.
All the money from the recorded messages will be going to contribute to building the project space. This unique project space aims to reduce homelessness for the kids who have left foster care between the ages of 18 to 26 years of age.
It’s a small contribution of $57 to record a heartfelt message. Please trust that if each child knows that this message that comes from your heart and soul, then trust you can have faith that this message will be there germinating inside them for life. Just think that each child can listen to your special message over and over again! You can trust that in turn your money will contribute to building the project space of my vision and thus provide a place to call home for each child in foster care.
"The More Kids who have a chance to succeed at life,
the More Kids who will succeed at life. " ~ Stacey Huish
About the Project Space – A real home for children After foster care
"I have designed and developed a program that equips them for life." ~ Stacey Huish
If they stay for the full 8 years, then every child will have been given as many skills as we can possibly give them, we will have equipped them with as much knowledge, education and life skills so they can go out there and face life. They will be equipped to have the potential to face any situation and be able to get through it.
There will be a full leadership program, so that they can become leaders, self autonomous, self directing and leaders of their own life.
This is about the divine plan unfolding. Every person who lives here is a part of the divine plan.
There is a significant vision underpinning what I am creating. I see this project focusing on meeting the developmental needs of children that may have been missed between the ages of one to seven years of age. The main aim is to encourage the growth and development of healthy functioning adults.
It’s a place that will provide safety and trust. A place to call home.
Each child can feel secure in knowing they have a place to go when they turn 18.
Most of these young people are not ready to leave home at the age of 18 and still need a safe space to call home.
From between 1-7 years of age each child has developmental needs. If these needs are not met at these age milestones, then when this child becomes a teenager, the child will revert back to being the age that the particular need was not met. This gives the parent a second chance to meet this need. If the need is not met during the teenage years, then the child gets stuck at that age and continues to behave at that age.
For example, you may have met a man who is 55 years old and acts and behaves like a 3 year old child? This is because specific needs as a 3 year old were never met.
Another example: You may have met a 45 year old woman who acts and behaves like a 7 year old little girl - this is because she got stuck at the age of 7. Her 7 year old needs were not met.
The vision of the project space is to create a full 8 year program where each child can stay until they are 27 years old. I will provide a loving home, accommodation, 3 meals a day/7 days week, study and employment opportunities and all the necessary life skills.
Every child who stays with us will do their right of passage. That is, they will learn what it is to be an adult and how to be a responsible adult. The boys will learn what it is to be a man and how to be a man and the girls will learn what it is to be a woman and how to be a woman. They will learn effective communication skills, listening skills, and how to develop a win-win situation by using appropriate conflict resolution skills. It does not matter who each child is in their life, what job they do or what relationship they are in, communication skills will be fundamental to every relationship in life.
References: (these are 3 sources that show the brain development of children is at age 26)
1) University of Rochester Medical Center (Medical Reviewers: Anne Fetterman RN BSN, Joseph Campellone MD, Raymond Kent Turley BSN MSN RN https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=3051)
2) “When the brain starts adulting” Alexis Wnuk: Alexis is the science writer and editor for BrainFacts.org. She graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in 2012 with degrees in neuroscience and English. (https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/aging/2018/when-the-brain-starts-adulting-112018)
3) Hope Brookens, L.L.P.C., Brookens, H. (February 2008). Adolescent brain development. Mental Health Matters. 5(4). Gratiot Medical Center: An Affiliate of MidMichigan Health. https://www.fhpcc.com/adolescent-brain-development
I am going to blog and document the journey of creating 1000 Ripple Effects across the world.