Love is Freedom
Love can feel like reaching great heights when you may feel like you could burst. These moments can blind you, getting caught up in someone else’s bright light, forgetting your own light. Then, there can also be great depths of love where your compassion can easily turn to deep sorrow, and without awareness, you can miss seeing all the beautiful, good things around you and within you.
Love will always be the most powerful emotion that we can all choose, anytime, anywhere and especially through any circumstance.
Yes, you have read correctly, in any circumstance.
You see love, pure, consistent, feel good love is all about how you receive and give it.
Finding my way to love, I found me, awesome, unique authentic me.
For a long time I let it be a struggle finding this place that is waiting within each of us. I let it be a fight, thinking that this was the only way to reach feeling good, having to wade through all the crap.
When I stopped fighting, struggling, finally I could see the ease and simplicity in the choice of love.
I started to receive love from everything, everyone and the most important person that I received love from was ME. Giving me the super power to give love anytime, anywhere. I removed every condition, every limit with one simple change….to choose love.
Once you begin to allow, to receive love all the time, every step and moment of your life, well you will see. There are no words that can ever bring true justice to explaining what this will bring to you.
So how do you do this?
First let me give you Love’s question….
How do I want to respond?
I know, you’ve read all the emotions questions now and may be thinking, can it truly be this simple.
YES, it is that simple.
Now to answer Love’s question for yourself….
How do you want to respond?
Before you answer that there is something else that I want to share. This came to me when I when I become receptive to love and understood that the secret to life is to feel good.
In all my research I kept reading and seeing lots of information about the 2 states of being – Love and Fear, or Love and Hate. My body gave me clear signs that this information did not sit well with me and I had to keep looking. You have read my blogs on all the base emotions so you’ll know by now how these emotions can have a positive effect of you.
Then one day, like a beautiful flash, I found the information in me. I realised that the two states of being are –
In the presence of Love
In the absence of Love
Every emotion has the ability to either be in the positive or negative, in the presence or absence of love.
Think about when you feel love is present, you feel good, even when others may feel different. If something feels good to you, you feel love.
That right there is the presence of love. So simple, so easy, so true.
Now go back to the question - How do you want to respond?
When you choose to respond with love, you will always feel good.
When you choose to allow your emotions to lead you in the presence of love you will find that…
Fear, will lead you to what is truly important to you.
Anger, will help you find clarity, understanding.
Sorrow, will help you allow the lessons and to let go of what you don’t need.
Shame, will help you make choices that always feel good to you.
Love is the centre to each of all the emotions, when you find your way to love, you will find your freedom.
When you choose to respond with love, you will create calm in all parts of your life and a complete clarity of mind. No one will be able to affect or disrupt your emotional state ever again.
Through each of my blogs I have shared the purpose and the question for each base emotions – Anger, Sorrow, Fear, Shame and Love.
You can now use them to your benefit, using the secret to life – to feel good. You now have the map to freedom.
What will you choose to do with it?
Thank you and please Remember always
Be You, Feel Good
Ema Borg - Unique Phoenix
5 – Shame the life changing emotion
This is one of the most powerful emotions aside from Love. Love will always have the greatest power in any moment and any part of life.
Shame however is still a very strong emotion. It can hold you in one place, or hide you from fully experiencing life. Shame is also an emotion that so many constantly avoid trying to feel, because it simply does not feel good in the negative side of it. Add to that you also live in a world that is desperately trying to accept and tolerate so you can be politically correct, which means that you can ignore the very emotion that can actually help you feel good in all parts of your life.
Shame is our moral compass, helps you make choices, decisions that feel right to you. However being in a world that focuses more on the outside, what things look like, means that many are always looking to shame others. This is also a simple instinct of shame to make themselves feel better, because if others are doing things to be shamed for then what they are doing must be ok. This becomes a continuous negative shame cycle.
You can break this cycle and use Shame for its purpose. Using it to your benefit without having to bring others down with you.
First let us look at some of the ways that shame can affect you whilst blaming another emotion. In the last blog about Fear I mentioned public speaking and the ‘fear’ actually being more related to another emotion.
That emotion is Shame.
Some parts of what you would feel when Public Speaking are absolutely fear, remember it helps you stay focused to what is important to you. The other parts are Shame. If public speaking is something you are not comfortable about then to take a moment to think about some of the thoughts that go on in your head.
Are they something like this…….
What will they think of me?
What would happen if I fell over?
They will laugh or think badly of me if forget my words or make a mistake?
Do I look ok?
Do I sound ok?
Am I making sense?
Take another look over the above questions? These are all shame related feelings. They are all based on what others think about you and the choices you have made around your clothes, words you are speaking, how you look or sound. None of them have anything to you do with you and how you feel about you, the confidence in your words, how you feel in your clothes. They are all focused of what others think, right?
You may be able to relate this to something else you have always blamed on fear. Have you got something that you now know is shame based and nothing to do with fear, or very little to do with it.
What have you let shame hide you from or hold you in?
Now you can turn it all around. Shame is beautiful emotion that consistently helps you makes choices that you feel good about. It is not about anyone else, only YOU. This is Shames sole purpose, for you to feel good.
Shames Question – Do I feel good about my choice?
When used to your benefit this emotion will have a massive impact on your life and the lives of those around you. The awareness and freedom it gives you is enormous. When you make a choices that feel good to you, it will create a lifetime of wonderful learning. When you make a choice through shame that feels good to you, it will stay with you well beyond the choice and you will always look to make those feel good choices. When you make a choice that may feel good or ok at the time but after does not feel good to you, it will stay with you in a negative space and will warp your view on you, your brain will create a story on how bad you are or even worse, not deserving of good things. Take small steps, focus on what feels good and you will turn this around. You must listen to your feelings and follow them.
So simple and easy, that it will continually have a positive impact in your life. Whether it is about your health, the food you choose to eat, the actions that you take, the words you choose to speak and most importantly how you want to feel.
The choice now for you is simple, feeling bad then change direction or feeling good then keep going!
Next and certainly not least is Love. The most power emotion, it does have highs and lows, however I will show you the constant state that is simple and easy to be in.
Thank you and please remember – BE YOU and FEEL GOOD,
4: Fear – Would the real Fear please stand up
Imagine a young girl, maybe about 6. She’s in her pyjamas, it is the middle of the night. Her Family is running down the stairs from there small apartment. She is holding nothing but air between her hands because there was no time to grab her doll or even shoes. Her mum and brother are running in front of her, she can only hear them in the dark. They are running to their neighbours’ home, to safety. Her mums’ boyfriend has come home drunk, again. He has hit her, again. This time her mum is trying to get away. The boyfriend must have passed out, as she made sure they all stayed whisper quiet. It is all a blur going into the house, it is late and no one really speaks. If they do the girl can’t hear it. All three of them lay in the neighbours’ spare bed, wide eyed, pretending to go to sleep. The girl is frightened as her mum holds her. Her brother is on the other side, very still, trying to be so brave. The girl can feel his fear too, as much as she can feel her own. Then a loud voice outside, it is her mums’ boyfriend yelling for them down the long driveway of the apartments. He calls each name and with each name comes a tear rolling down the girls face. The only words in her head are ‘please don’t find us’.
The neighbours kept them safe that night, but the little girl did not sleep and as they went back home the next morning after he had gone to work the young girls mind had already started thinking about what would happen when he got home that night.
That little girl is me. That feeling of fear has always remained clear to me. As I began researching emotions 5 years ago, this was clear in my mind and I started to understand that somewhere along the way fear had been given a very different meaning.
It was these memories that helped me truly understand why fear has a place and what its purpose is. I could clearly see that we feel fear for our benefit. It is not meant to be for a detriment as so many want and choose to believe.
Of course I felt fear in that moment, I was at age 6 running for my safety. He was a violent and frightening man when he was drunk. I can look back now and see how controlled, inauthentic he was when he was sober. The drinking just gave him permission to let go, numb the pain he felt inside and inflict it on others around him. I know now he was frightened of himself, and I only have the deepest compassion for him.
Fear helped us stay safe. When we all instinctively choose to follow fears lead, it always led us to safety. Fear always wanted us to survive. I say us because in those moments it was like we used our collective fear to help us as a whole, there was no individual intention. Those moments clearly showed me that fear is the same for all of us.
So what then is Fears purpose for good in your life?
Fears purpose is to keep you safe.
Fear only wants the best for you, to help you thrive and survive when you need to.
Fear helps you know, to your very core, how important something is to you.
Fear helps you focus and be present.
The beauty of this emotion is that you are grounded wonderfully in the moment you are in, not in the future or past, but completely in the present.
For me, now that I know its purpose and use it to its benefit, I can easily see the complicated misconception that has been built around it. Fear has seemed to get the blame for everything.
Public speaking and spiders are 2 of the most commonly known fears. Take a moment to think about each of them and ask yourself why you might feel fear for either of these things?
Look at public speaking. If you are not comfortable in front of people but the topic you are sharing is very important to you, then you would most definitely feel fear. Why? It is not because of being in front of people; that is a different emotion, it is because your natural instinct is asking you to be present and focus on how important this is to you. To deliver the information to the best of your ability, with authenticity. That is Fear, right there kicking in to help you.
Now look at spiders, if it is a deadly spider as we have in Australia, then you are right to feel fear and want to follow your instinct to move away from it. Right there is where fear wants to help you survive. That feeling of flight or fight is there for a reason. Not to ignore and push down, but to use to your benefit. To follow what fear is telling you or yelling depending on how quickly you need to act.
The two fears I mentioned used to be my biggest fears, but once I started using fear for its purpose then it changed. I can now talk in front of others with far more authenticity and confidence, and spiders I can even walk past, even be in the same room with. As long as I know they are not dangerous, like redbacks or whitetails, and even then I catch and release.
Now you know why you feel fear. I want you to transform all the things you once thought were negative and turn them into a positive, understanding that this feeling, fear, is truly for your benefit.
All you need to do is remember Fears question in those moments when you feel butterflies or want to run.
Fears Question - How important is this to me?
Watch how your life changes and you can experience all the gifts that fear gives.
I mentioned before that there was a different emotion that you experience with the example of public speaking. That is the next emotion I am going to share with you, Shame.
Stay with me as I lift the lid on this one and help you use Shame to help you, thrive and grow.
Thank you and please remember – BE YOU and FEEL GOOD,
Ema Borg - Unique Phoenix
I am going to blog and document the journey of creating 1000 Ripple Effects across the world.