Ema Borg, Founding Director of Unique Phoenix.
Ema says "I Facilitate Change to Deeper Love. I specialise in Emotional Health and Relationship Communication."
I am a mum, wife, entrepreneur, friend, basketball coach, but most of all I am ME. The road to finding ME has certainly been challenging, however worth every step. Before I made the leap to became a facilitator 5 years ago I ran a successful direct sales business, and discovered the wonderful world of personal development and it was through this time that I uncovered my unique view and wisdom. This led me to begin my own business and embracing being out of my comfort zone each and every day. I choose everyday to make healthy and loving choices that support the feel good life I need, that we all need. Being a mum constantly challenges me to be the best I can be, as it my purpose as a mum to help my children be the best humans they can be.
My purpose in business and life is to serve others by supporting them to be authentically themselves and feel good for who they are. Working with Children 8 – 16, Women and Men Business owners, professionals and entrepreneurs, 25 – 45. To allow them to shine, be heard, communicate and lead through their emotions to always get what they need. I believe that every person is born wonderfully unique and each day can rise up choosing to live being the best they can be. Living completely with a heart driven perspective. Constantly uncovering there inbuilt strength and unique abilities. To teach tools that will support them to continually grow, learn, reinvent, rise up, raise their voice, seeking solutions through emotional intelligence, clear communication and independent free thinking. I embrace empowering others to find their own inner strength and the courage to fiercely find there centre to Self-Respect and Self-Love.
Many Thanks, I appreciate the opportunity.
Enjoy your beautiful day.
Be You, Feel Good,
Written by Ema Borg
Hi there, my Name is Ema and I wanted to take the time to introduce myself and the wonderful, sometimes not so wonderful, life I have lived that has led me to the work I do. Probably then, best I share what it is I do now, my passion, my work, and something I will be sharing in future articles. I Facilitate Deeper Love - Specialising in Emotional Health and Relationship Communication. What I will be sharing with you in the future is a unique Emotional Code I have developed to help simplify each base emotion - Fear, Anger, Sorrow, Shame and Love, so that you can use them to your benefit rather than detriment.
How did I find this wisdom in me? Let me share a small story, and snap shot of what my life was like as a kid to help show you how I came to uncover this wisdom within me.
Growing up like so many kids around me I wanted the perfect family. To be like all the other kids, ‘normal’. What is normal? Well to me as a kid it was having a mum and dad, friends, being active, being happy and feeling like everyone else. On the outside I had figured out how to cover it all, to look happy, to act like my mum and her boyfriend were that ‘normal’ family type and most of all to fit in with everyone else, not wanting at all to stand out.
Life was far from normal, my mum was being abused by her boyfriend. He had a drinking problem and would beat my mum. Sometimes we would be left in random places, far away, with mum having to figure out how to get us home, no money and sometimes no idea where we were. I can remember one time near Christmas, late at night he had left us, forgotten us, after an all drinking session with ‘new friends’. After walking for a couple of hours in the dark on an empty country road, way out of town, a stranger picked us up. What could mum do but to hope that this was a generous act and a safe choice that she was making. Thankfully it was. Once we were home there was a taxi in the driveway, thanking the kind stranger we all walked inside to hear the music blaring. My mum, brother and I found the boyfriend with the taxi driver, both completely drunk. He welcomed us and started pouring a drink for mum and asking me to come sit with him. For the first time that I could remember mum said “NO, it’s after midnight, she is going to bed”. Maybe he didn’t want to be embarrassed or found out, as this time he let me go to bed. The music continued, but as I was only 5, maybe 6 I fell right to sleep. Mum was quiet the next morning and I soon begun to learn that this meant she had ‘gotten in trouble’, much later in life I understood what this really meant. Mum had been beaten, and she always covered it up. Over the years of course we saw it more, but we were kids and felt completely powerless to stop it.
With all the abuse mum was experiencing she missed what was happening to me. I didn’t want to always be at home, the tension, the fear, and this was at a time when you could walk freely around the streets at aged 6 with a couple of mates feeling safe. Well, so everyone thought. It was during this time that my friends and I met a local man who had a menagerie of animals in his back yard, he lured young kids, gained trust and then abused them. This man was clever, looking back he had it down pat, knowing who to target and then how to get you to keep it ‘Our little secret’, because, ‘Everyone has a special friend like me’. This went on until I was 7 and thankfully we moved across town. At this time there was no internet, he had no way to find me. Sadly though he was not the last man to have access to abuse me. After we moved there was another man who quickly became our ‘family friend’ and began abusing me.
At around 9 my mum found the courage to leave her boyfriend and we moved far, far away. Now it was just Mum, my brother and I, with no boyfriends in sight. My mum moved to get away from the beatings and abuse she was experiencing, having no idea that this had saved me as well. The freedom I felt was, well there are no real words, but if you have ever felt trapped in secrets and lies then I know you understand the overwhelming joy that comes with thinking you can now live an open and honest life. However it was not really over, because of how I was groomed by both men the secret of stayed within me and festered away. What it did come out in was my behaviour. I became aggressive to my mum, manipulative and lying to cover up all stealing and bad choices I was making. I am a highly adaptive and intelligent person, so you can imagine how easy this was for me.
By 10 I had begun counselling which would continue into my 20’s. No one knew what had happened, everyone just assumed that I was a bad kid. As I mentioned before I had been groomed by men that knew exactly what they were doing. In my mind what had happened was not wrong, it was not bad, in fact I had been so manipulated and fully believed that everyone does it, it was natural, everyone had a secret friend and that the only bad thing I could do was telling anyone about it. I had been convinced that if I shared our ‘secret’, I would ruin all the special time we spent together and get into trouble for telling.
At age 11, Grade 6, I sat in a sexual education class. The first 2 lessons were uncomfortable, even a little embarrassing and sometimes funny. The 3rd lesson was like a huge weight had been dropped on me when they talked about inappropriate touching, and even now all I can’t remember any of the words, only one thought running through my head.
“What happened to me was bad, it does not happen to everyone. I am not special. I am dirty. I have been touched in the wrong way, I let this happen”.
I walked home that day feeling ashamed. I felt even more strongly that I could not tell anyone because they would think badly of me. So I continued the ‘I am ok’ outer world façade, but my inner voice was becoming even meaner, more negative and crying out to be truly seen.
Remember all I ever wanted to be was like everyone else, and now I felt even more different. My teenage years were filled with self-abuse, drugs, alcohol, more lying and manipulation. I was now a master at covering up how I felt, and by the time I was in my 20’s I had almost completely covered up any real emotion or reactions. My 30’s I began shedding the fake stories, found real authentic love with my now husband but still had to find real authentic self-love.
Why am I sharing this with you? The next article I will start with the first of five emotions, Anger. I will share I began to understand it’s purpose and then to show you how anyone can use it for their benefit.
I learned deep compassion, forgiveness of self and others. I got to know the very worst of me, which led me to see the very best. I can now say without any kind of hesitation that I love all sides of me, the very best and worst. To know that there is always a way to love, deep self-love. I want to give you the power of the knowledge that you can shine through all the crap, with hope, finding the light.
You see that is what I discovered. I uncovered my light, learned that I could choose hope and then I continually allowed my unique wisdom to surface each and every day. I know now that everyone is different and in fact this is the most beautiful part of each of us, the wonderful uniqueness.
It is in all of us, uniqueness that can only be found in YOU.
I am Enough Coaching
I witnessed a case of road rage the other day, I would like to share my experience of what I saw, the ripples as events unfolded and how each ripple lead to the next. Finally I would like to discuss how taking a moment to pause can stop the ripples and the escalation.
I was driving to work in my car, a car further down the road had pulled out of a junction in front of the car that I was following. As I saw this my immediate thought was, “wow, crazy man, he is cutting that fine” then the car in front of me slammed on its brakes so hard it actually skidded a little bit. This made me have to brake hard as well. My thoughts were; “that was close”.
What followed was crazy. This was the first ripple effect. The driver who was in front of me started blowing his horn, waving his hands at the driver in front and then he drove so close to him. Very dangerous and aggressive driving. As I said this was the first ripple effect that I witnessed, how this driver decided he had been wronged and that he was going to get his own back through his aggressive driving. I had to slow down, so that if they did hit each other and have an accident I wouldn’t be involved in it. A few times I was really worried they may hit each other and cause a big accident.
Then I witnessed the second ripple effect. Eventually both vehicles ended up at the bottom of a hill at a set of traffic lights. Still the horn blowing continued until one of the drivers got out of the car and approached the other vehicle and driver. Very quickly both drivers were outside their cars and were having a full on argument with plenty of swearing and pushing. This was the second ripple, the incident had escalated to another level, now instead of driving dangerously, and they were on the verge of having a fight. Why, because one driver had pulled out in front of the other person. I couldn’t believe I was watching these two grown men behaving like teenage boys in a school playground.
Next was the third ripple effect as the incident was just about to become worse for both of the men. Neither of them had noticed the Police car on the other side of the traffic lights that had been witnessing the whole event unfold. The Police car sounded its siren, turned on its lights and one of the officers stepped out of the Police car and indicated to the two men to get back in their cars and pull over to the side in a layby. Crazy, this was the third ripple I was witnessing. These two men were now in trouble with the Police and were getting pulled over and who knows what the outcome will be.
As I drove past, both cars were pulling over the Police car was pulling in behind them. I couldn’t help think that did this really need to happen? I fully understood how frustrating it was for the driver I was following who had to brake extremely hard. But that frustration, very quickly turned to anger, which then escalated to rage. Ultimately both drivers ended up having a chat with a couple of Policemen. If only the driver who was in front of me, had taken a moment to pause, to stop and think, to take a deep breath and think, “wow, that was close, but I am still alive” and had just been grateful for that fact, instead of flying off the handle and escalating the situation by driving aggressively and being aggressive toward the other driver things would have ended so much differently.
I never got to witness the fourth and then successive ripples, but I had no doubt that there would be other ripples. Both drivers, could have been given a fine, maybe charged with an offence, maybe incurred a fine and penalty points, which may have led to a suspension of their licence. Now if they needed to drive for a living, that loss of licence will have had a massive impact on them, and if they had a family, it would have rippled out through the family as well.
So let me take you back to the beginning of this series of ripples that I witnessed. I have to ask you a question, do you think any of these ripples would have happened if the first driver had not been in such a rush that he felt he had to pull out in front of the other car? Or, do you think any of this would have happened if the driver of the car that I was following, had not reacted the way he did to being pulled out on?
Do you think all of this could have been avoided if either of them had just taken a moment to pause and think about their actions and the consequences of those actions?
Do you think that this could have been stopped by either of them, by them actually controlling themselves in a better manner?
Can you see how the ripples just lead to the next level? How each level got wilder than the next? Then eventually how both of them ended up in trouble with the Police? Imagine for a moment, that one of them didn’t choose to react the way they did, the whole incident would have ended right there.
Now can you think of a time where you were so wrapped up in an event, that you got swept along in the momentum of that moment, without thinking, all of a sudden you have found yourself in trouble, with no real explanation for your actions, other than blaming someone else?
So the next time you find yourself getting caught up in something, remember to take the time to think, to press the pause button, to take a deep breath and say to yourself, where is this going to lead me? What is the outcome going to be? And, do I really need to be doing this? I am sure you will be able to quickly stop things from getting out of control once you do.
” You are Enough” to take control of yourself at any moment, do you have the courage to do it?
Written by: Jenny Whyte
Many times in our lifetime we hear a few words that can and ultimately do make a difference to us and how we view the world around us!
Sometimes, it's not till later in life that we find the wisdom in our thoughts and feelings!
Sometimes, it's through hardship that we learn our greatest lessons!
Everyone has challenges to overcome in their life, without exception!
Some of the simple things I would truly love to share with you have been gathered together in these few short pages!
We may look at others and think 'how lucky they are', however, if we knew their challenges we may prefer to stick to our own!
Challenges are part of life's experience! To learn and grow! To learn how to react and handle them! To become stronger, more compassionate towards ourselves and others!
Possibly, our challenges can lead us towards our purpose in life! To being able to share with others from our own heart and experience!
I would like to share some things that could make life easier and more enjoyable than it's may appear today!
There are always others less fortunate than ourselves!
Start everyday with three things that you are grateful for! Even if you need to really think hard, do it, because it will change your day! Your week! Your month and ultimately your life!
When you start your day with gratitude, you start your day with a positive outlook, and then little miracles are drawn to you! Positivity is Powerful!
Gratitude or thoughts of gratefulness can be about simple easy things!
Always live with an Attitude of Gratitude
The power of gratitude attracts what we want, improves relationships, reduces negativity and improves problem solving!
Some of the most successful people in the world were not born with a silver spoon in their mouth, in fact some of the most beautiful, powerful human beings had to overcome challenges, and now are some of the most influential role models
Thomas Edison who developed the light globe, he failed 1000 times before being successful! He was an ordinary person who achieved an extraordinary accomplishment!
"Our greatest weakness, is in giving up, the most certain way to succeed, is to give it one more go" Thomas Edison
Steven Spielberg one of the greatest movie directors of all time! He was rejected by The Californium cinematic multiple times, his dream! He kept pursuing his dreams, believing he could make it! At the age of 17 he snuck into a real life filming at universal studios! Then continued to pursue his dream!
Did you know?
Charlie Chaplin, Harry Houdini, Ella Fitzgerald, Daniel Craig, Jim Carey just to mention a few, sometime in their lifetime they were challenged with not having a home; living out of a suitcase; living in their car; being homeless; not knowing where their next dollar was coming from! True!
They all had something! A Dream! A purpose! A determination! A belief!
I believe within each of us there is this spark! It's a feeling hat we are more than what we perceive ourselves to be! I call it the Giant Within. None of us are without it, sometimes, we just need to remember who we are, how magnificent we are, how incredible we can be! Not from an outside perspective but from an internal perspective!
If we look for a positive in every situation, we may find the joy we are seeking!
Your thoughts create your feelings!
Your feelings create your actions!
Your actions create your results!
Your results create your belief systems!
I remember learning many years ago about 'stinkin thinkin' and sometimes during my life's experiences I have fallen back into stinking thinking! You hear this little voice in your head and it sounds something like this;
YOU "I love singing and I'm going to audition for The Voice!"
Voice in head "Ha ha! You! You're not good enough! You will make a fool of yourself! Ha ha!!
I also learnt a great tool to overcome those negative chats!
I refer to it as Mr Pozzie and Mr Neggie
It started out this way;
Mr Pozzie sat on my right shoulder and Mr Neggie on my left
During the day as I have internal dialogue both parties chat to me....Mr Pozzie always has something good to say, whilst (yes, you guessed it) Mr Neggie just feeds negative feedback! Well I learned the 'finger flick' you make a circle with your index finger and your thumb, when Mr Neggie starts negative feedback you turn to your left shoulder and you assertively give Mt Neggie The Flick! Keep doing it....even if it takes as many times as Thomas Edison did...you will succeed!
It finishes on a positive! With your left hand turn to Mr Pozzie who sits on your right shoulder and you thank him for his love and support! For always being there for you! For always encouraging you! For believing in you! For being patient and caring! If you are really brave you may even wish to tell Mr Pozzie 'I love you"!
If we look for the positive in every situation, we will find the joy we are looking for!
May the Giant Within you guide you to all that your true heart desires!
May you enjoy a life filled with love, peace and prosperity!
Go do it!
I am going to blog and document the journey of creating 1000 Ripple Effects across the world.