Mindfulness in Public Speaking
by Robert Rabbin If you are a public speaker — and we all are, because I define public speaking as speaking with anyone other than oneself — I wonder if you practice mindfulness while you speak. If you do, you are a rare species indeed. Let me explain. I first encountered mindfulness in 1968 when I began studying aikido and zazen. Mindfulness is basically paying attention to what is happening, as distinct from what you think is happening. This is a very useful skill in the dojo, so as to not get your bones broken during an aikido training session. Be present, or get hurt. I followed up this introduction to mindfulness in another way, during a month-long Vipassana retreat, in Madras, India, led by the renowned Burmese teacher Satya Narayan Goenka. The retreat was a 24/7 hell of paying attention to one’s breath and to every movement within one’s mind and body. We were discouraged from sleeping more than a couple hours a night. Are you kidding me? I managed to stick it out for the whole month, but I couldn’t get away fast enough. Then, barely a few weeks after surviving the hell of Goenka’s retreat, I walked into the ashram of one Swami Muktananda, a meditation master and living embodiment of mindfulness, of present-centered awareness. I ended up living with him for 11 years! I left Muktananda’s ashram in January 1985, but by then the practice of mindfulness had become my life. Mindfulness refers to our capacity to see, understand, and relate to what is actually happening, rather than what we think is happening. Essentially, the more mindful and aware we are, the more real and authentic we can be. How does this connect to our speaking? You’ll agree that every time we speak, we produce an effect in the minds and hearts of our listeners, our audience. They will think and feel something, and maybe even be inspired to do something, all as a result of our speaking. These are the effects we produce every time we speak. Now, I ask you: do you produce conscious, intentional, purposeful effects when you speak, or do you produce random, what-the-hell-did-I-just-say, hope-for-the-best effects? Mindfulness in public speaking refers to our capacity to produce conscious, intentional, purposeful effects when we speak. So, how do we do that? I had always been a good, effective speaker, though I was an unconscious competent. That is, I was not consciously aware of how and why I was a confident, competent, often inspirational, speaker. One day, I decided to become a consciously competent speaker, so I could help others become more authentic, effective speakers. I deconstructed my style of speaking. I looked closely and carefully at how I spoke. I made a few pages of notes. From that beginning was born Speaking Truthfully, the work I have done for the past 12 years. My approach to public speaking is unique, precisely because of my lifelong cultivation of mindfulness. I discovered that my prowess in speaking was largely due to the fact that I melded mindfulness with speaking in real time. I realized that most people are completely unconscious when they speak. They do not have conscious awareness of what they say and how they say it while they are speaking. Of course not, we’ve never learned how. Yes, we all have acquired language and learned how to use it in a rudimentary fashion. But we’ve never learned the science, art, and skill of authentic public speaking the way I do it and the way I teach it. What do we have to work with? Two things: what we say, and how we say it. What we say is called content, our message, the words and perhaps images we use to communicate information and our points of view. I’ll leave that alone for now, as that is in itself another article. Information is important, yes. However, information is giving out; communication is getting through. Often, it is how we say what we say that gets through. What, then, are the various elements we have at our disposal to use in a mindful way? We have our inner state of being; our psychological, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Are we speaking our truth and showing others who we are? Does our presence alone, in and of itself, say something important? Are we spewing ideas and beliefs that do not reflect our inner truth, our heart, our authentic self? Are we suppressing our emotions so as to appear, well, emotionless? Are we selling some fabricated persona that we think might make a good impression? The speaking instrument also comprises our actual physical body and the many ways we can use it mindfully to support our speaking. We have our posture, our gestures, our facial expressions. We have our movement on a stage, or in front of a room. We have the strength with which we say our words, the volume and degree of projection. We have the rate and pace of our words. We have pauses and silence. We have a light in our eyes. We have our smile and laughter. We have our softness and tears. We have our shakti, our life force. We have the degree of our connection, to both our own self and to our audience. Are we hiding and pretending, or do we show up fully transparent and vulnerable? Do we make natural, sustained eye contact with people, so as to facilitate human connection? Are we speaking with confidence and self-assuredness, or are we speaking timidly, undercutting our credibility with self-doubt? And, where are we speaking from? From a rehearsed, prepared script that lives in our mind, or from a deeper and truer place within us? Are we simply venting or ranting, or are we speaking with awareness of each word as they arise from our creative source and center? These are some of the many elements a truly conscious, mindful speaker uses to produce conscious, intentional, purposeful effects. And the mindful use of our speaking instrument is also a means for us to tell the truth of who we are, to live authentically and fearlessly, to fill the space in which we are speaking with the depth and beauty of who we are, not who we think we should be or who others want us to be. Bottom line? Mindfulness in public speaking requires that we show up, plant our feet on the ground, look people in the eyes, and tell the truth. No hiding, posturing, pretending. No deception, half-truths, or statements we don’t believe. If we speak truthfully and mindfully, people will listen. Our life will glow. Our work will thrive. Our heart will sing. Our spirit will soar. We will be a blessing to ourselves and to others. ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Robert Rabbin 1) Tall Poppy Syndrome: 2) Igniting Your Innate Confidence 3) Mindfullness in Public Speaking 4) I am Dying, Therefore I speak Truthfully 5) ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================
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Igniting Our Innate Confidence
by Robert Rabbin In public speaking — and we are all public speakers, since public speaking is speaking with anyone other than oneself — a lack of confidence will always undermine our credibility. No one wants to listen to a timid, tentative speaker. But before we even stand up to speak out, we have to have the confidence to do just that. How many times have you suppressed what you wanted to say, only to spend the rest of the day kicking yourself? How many times has an opportunity come knocking on your door, only to leave when the door was not opened? How many dreams have not been actualized because they were not spoken into reality, because we did not have the confidence to do so? There are two kinds of confidence: one is earned, one is innate. Earned confidence comes from education and training, or from years of experience. Innate confidence is an attitude of mind, a choice to be fearlessly expressive independent of other factors. Innate confidence is a self-blessing to speak our truth at all times because “I am entitled to speak and to be heard.” Each person is born with the exact same right to self-express. Authentic self-expression is an indwelling presence and brilliance that can only be dimmed by self-betrayal, as in self-suppression. We have to own this right, choose this right, exercise this right. It is ours. It is yours. When people lose the cabin pressure of confidence and begin to spin out of control with anxiety, fear, and self-doubt, it is because they have forgotten to choose confidence. Why? Fear of judgment, their own or others’. We are afraid that we are not good enough, or not entitled to speak. We are afraid of taking up space without someone’s permission. Essentially, we do not have confidence in our own being and the inherent right to full self-expression that is ours from the beginning. Here’s is a simple and foolproof way to instantly dissolve fear of judgment and restore our confidence. All our fear of judgment comes from ordering people on a vertical, hierarchical axis. For example, we might order people according to income or net worth, looks, weight, organizational position, and so on. Our fear of judgment comes when we rank people above us on our self-created vertical axis. We give people who we locate above us more right than us to speak, to offer their views, to express their opinion. Their opinion is more important than mine. If they don’t approve of me… However, if we turn the vertical pole on its side so it becomes horizontal, suddenly everyone’s judgment becomes just an opinion, ordered equally on the same plane. Suddenly, judgment becomes opinion. Ours is as valid as another’s. We all have our opinions, all are equally valid and true as an opinion. It seems simple enough, but you might still wonder, “How does one get into this ‘horizontal’ state of mind?”First, realize that the vertical axis is supported by a single thought, or belief: “I am not good enough.” There are any number of back stories to this single thought, each one a reason or justification to elevate others above us, because “I am not good enough.” Where does this thought come from? It comes from a decision we make about our worthiness and goodness in the wake of an awkward, embarrassing, or hurtful experience. First, we have an experience, about which we make a decision, which becomes a belief, or a self-fulfilling prophecy of our own inadequacy. Understand that all the reasons one gives oneself to justify elevating the opinions of others above us are made up by us, are given life by us, and are authorized to keep us in the prison of self-suppression and doubt by us. We simply must choose confidence, and with this confidence we can dis-create our own creation. Choose self-confidence, just as you chose self-doubt. Try it. It works! Here’s what one of my workshop participants said, “Oh my God! My whole life, I’ve believed that what other people told me about me was truer than what I told me about me! I thought because they were older, or smarter, or more experienced, they knew better. I get it! All of I have to do now is say ‘Thank you for your opinion’.’They are not the boss of me, or my thoughts. I can be as confident as I want, as a choice. Only I can cause me to lose confidence!” Turn judgment to opinion and never lose the cabin pressure of confidence again. ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Robert Rabbin 1) Tall Poppy Syndrome: 2) Igniting Your Innate Confidence 3) Mindfullness in Public Speaking 4) I am Dying, Therefore I speak Truthfully 5) ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ What is really holding you back
Written for Ripple Effects by Rachel Allan, marketing consultant, author and mum. 8 March 2018 How often have you wondered how someone does everything they do? Have you ever stopped to think about how you show up in the world? Maybe others wonder how you do it? Most people achieve what they do because they are so connected to their purpose. Desire drives them. If you are not achieving what you want to – or feel like you are not living your life to its true potential. Who do you think can change this? Who has the power to make your life better? Your life won’t get better while you sit on the couch complaining. Nor if you sit there dreaming about what your life could look like. There is no magic fairy dust you can sprinkle and become the person you want to be. You need to change. To do something differently. If you continue to do the same thing repeatedly you will get the same results. Do something differently. Make a change – as small as it seems, you will set yourself on a different path. The best time to start making your life better is today. Life moves so fast. Before you realise a week has gone by, a month, a year. Imagine if you had made the change a year ago – what would your life look like today? Many people do not make the changes because they are stuck in the past. There is a story telling you not to make the change – you have tried in the past to have a successful business, lose the weight, have a fulfilling relationship. Stop living in the past. Press the reset button and start again. Learn from your failures but don’t let them shape your future. Maybe you are stuck in the future. Always thinking about the things that could go wrong. Over-thinking the outcomes, always dreaming. Making the dreams bigger and bigger – becoming more and more unattainable. Stop dreaming and start doing. Be present in your life. Enjoy the small things in your everyday life. Your children. Pets. Partner. Friends. Nature. Coffee. Those everyday things which help you stay in the moment. By slowing your mind, you make magic, your fairy dust moments! Who do you think has the power to make your life better? Do you get it? It is you. You alone can have the power to create a life you deserve. To serve the people you need to serve. You go this. There maybe times where the craziness of life catches up to you and you feel slightly out of control. Just refocus, press reset and go again. You got this. Keep telling yourself that. Change your thinking, make new habits. You got this. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Remember those big dreams you had sitting on the couch. The bigger, bigger vision of your future you had while daydreaming. You are not going to get to your end goal overnight – remember no fairy dust! If you break down your dream or vision into goals, and then actions you can take every day. Making small changes for a larger impact. Start today, be present, you got this and make small changes for large impact. Understand the only person who has control of your future is you. ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Rachel Allan 1) Who Are You? 2) Achieving Balance in Your Life 3) What Is Really Holding you Back? 4) Time For Action. 5) Planning For Marketing Success ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Tall Poppy Syndrome:
Dream Big Dreams And Share Your True Heart. by Robert Rabbin Most of us have a governor on our capacity for full authentic self-expression. A governor is a device that “automatically regulates the supply of fuel, steam, or water to a machine, ensuring uniform motion or limiting speed.” The governor we have inside us automatically regulates the supply of shakti, life force, in order to limit our ability to speak truthfully, to disturb the Universe with our primal presence and cosmic roar. In Australia, this governing device is called tall poppy syndrome. My first direct experience of this tall poppy notion came one morning in a workshop I was leading, shortly after I moved to Australia in 2005. I wondered aloud why a few of the participants danced so delicately around an issue they wanted to discuss. They did everything but speak plainly. I encouraged them to speak more boldly and directly. In our subsequent conversation, they said they had learned to not be bold or direct. They said that it wasn’t right to speak out too loudly. They didn’t want to stick out, or stand above others. They told me about the tall poppy syndrome, which I’ve come to understand as a kind of cultural suppression of creative self-expression. The tall poppy syndrome is a topic that showed up in every one of my workshops in Australia, over the course of almost six years. It is a fire-walk that many have to take in order to break the hold of this socialization, their learned reticence to stand up, stick out, and speak brilliantly, powerfully, passionately, authentically! When I asked one of my Australian friends to give me her definition of the tall poppy syndrome, she said, “Let’s not get too high and mighty, let’s not get too carried away with ourselves. We don’t want anyone getting too full of their own talent or accomplishment. If they do, why we’ll just cut them down to size. We’ll have no tall poppies in our fields!” Another said, “Australians are carrying a national consciousness of unworthiness, stemming from our roots as a convict colony. When one of us tries to move into the bigger world, to dream a bigger vision, we briefly project all of our personal unmet ambitions onto him. When it turns out he is human and experiences a moment of failure, or is in our eyes somehow not good enough or undeserving, we pull him down justifying our own choice not to have at least tried to expand our horizons. Just like the elephants tied to the chains who don’t realize they are bigger than the chains, we are recreating our convict history via our tall poppy syndrome, believing ourselves to be prisoners simultaneously worshiping, fearing, and resenting the ones who break free.” And another friend talked about the “cultural cringe, a peculiarly Aussie malaise, a leveling attitude that seeks to keep people chained to mediocrity: in thinking and doing and dreaming big dreams — but most of all, in speaking. We’re just not supposed to speak up. That would be big-noting and arrogant. That’s for the Americans.” What a tragedy! To own our innate right to express our voice and vision, to exercise our intrinsic right to fully express our own aliveness and beauty and genius and creativity and wildness as only we can, is not arrogant or self-centered, but natural. I think of how natural it is for children throughout the world to exult in discovering their creative and expressive powers! Once we can make a sound, we start gurgling, humming, singing, crying, wailing — wow, look, we can make sounds! Once we can crawl, and then walk and skip, you can’t keep us penned in! And then, we can draw! We can create with color, with pencils, pens, crayons, paint — on everything! And then, to the dismay of all grown-ups, we realize we can make music by banging with this on that! The poet Derek Walcott surely wrote this line for children, and anyone, in the throes of discovery: Feast on your life! Expressing our self in uniquely creative ways is natural. It is the feast prepared for us at the moment we were created. And it is also natural to want to be appreciated and recognized for our creative expressions, for they represent our very essence of being! Look at the gleam and glow of any child as they rush to show a parent or teacher their picture — all excitement, joy, and pride! The only — I repeat, the only — appropriate response is overwhelming appreciation and encouragement. If we in any way ignore, disparage, or dismiss their work, we do the same to them, we will have hurt and wounded, perhaps fatally, their self-image and self-esteem, their enthusiasm and joy, their confidence and courage. Since I have always been interested in the transformative power and inspirational potential of public speaking, I began to extrapolate this tendency to underachieve. If people were guarding against authentic self-expression and self-censoring heartfelt sentiments, if people were aiming for the lowest common denominator, if people were afraid to be vulnerable and transparent, to connect intimately with others… what happens to people’s soul? How would this cultural leveling mechanism restrict and repress a person’s urge to rise above mediocrity? What happens…? What happens when you begin to speak in unauthorized, powerful, poetic, passionate ways? What happens when your speaking sets you apart, because you are clear, confident, compelling? What happens when you begin to speak the unspeakable, which rocks the status quo, or which gives shape and texture to new possibilities, new freedoms, new solutions? What happens when you speak dreams and visions from other levels of consciousness, from other dimensions of being? What happens if you question a public official’s rhetoric?… Hey, that’s enough! Stop right there! Who do you think you are to say such things? You have gone far enough. Now be quiet, mister, or you are going to find yourself in a world of trouble. In a Sydney workshop, one woman told of standing in front of her class, I guess she was about seven years old, to show her picture. Everyone had been told to draw snowflakes. This woman proudly showed a picture of multi-colored snowflakes, not a single one was white! How original! How imaginative! How colorful! Oops, no. The teacher had apparently lost too many important brain cells. What happened was that the teacher raced forward, grabbed the picture, held it aloft and began almost screaming: “Look at this! Children, look at this! This is wrong! Snowflakes are white. Everyone knows that! Have you ever seen colored snowflakes? No! Now go back to your seat and do this over, and do it right.” In the midst of this public shaming, this poor little girl just then and there decided for all time: I am not good enough. I can not draw. I am stupid. I will never again dream, imagine, or do anything different. These self-limiting decisions in the face of life events are the beginning of what I call diminished capacity, which is the major, if not singular, cause underlying our inability to lead truly authentic, happy, creative lives of intimacy and originality. Once we shut down and close off, we are cut off from the very life-force we need to be whole, to be powerful, to be passionate, to be productive, to be successful in whatever way we want. The tall poppy syndrome, especially as it pertains to speaking, is not proprietary to Australia. It is universal. Every society and each culture has sought to regulate speaking with bribes and intimidation. The antidote? Confidence. Confidence is a choice to accept, own, and fully use our intrinsic, inborn, factory-installed right to fully express ourselves in whatever way we want, any time, any place, no matter what. We all have to learn to speak our truth from the depths of our being, heart to heart and eye to eye. We all have to transform diminished capacity into ferocious and fearless speaking and truth-telling. This is where and how we connect with our life-force, how we inspire ourselves to dream big dreams, to take on unimaginable projects, to bring forth fire, and to learn to love the Earth. This is how we fulfill the promise of our life, how we share our true heart, and seed the world with soul-seeds of beauty. Written for Ripple Effects by Rachel Allan, marketing consultant, author and mum.
8 March 2018 The only way you can have balance is your life is to define what it means to you. You need to act to make changes in areas you feel unbalanced in. Make the choice for a better life. Create a new path today! After I had my daughter I spent two years living in a pressure cooker, feeling totally out of control. Stressing every day about food, money, work, being a mum and not even thinking about looking after myself. Life just doesn’t have to be that way. I assessed three areas of my life – my business, my general life and my self care. I realised in business I was just simply wasting my time doing things I was no longer passionate about, weren’t providing a financial return and were time consuming. I started being smart with the use of my time and energy. I focused on the core part of our business – the part which was making money. I put importance on systems in my house. Making the domestic tasks easier. Cleaning, cooking, shopping, washing. I encouraged my partner to step up – who did! I put myself first – most of the time anyway. I take time to re-energise myself, filling up my cup so I can continue to serve others, either my family or my clients. I look after my health and wellbeing. Here is some specifics on the changes I made:
Once you start controlling your life you will be able to make decisions and choices around how you spend your time – you will even find little bits of time for yourself. Due to the changing nature of life, your children and business, achieving balance is not consistent. Some days as hard as you try it will just not work, just press reset and start again. The only time for concern is when you can’t set reset, or you can’t see an end to the ‘thing’ which is causing pressure. Remember to breath, be present with your children, focused on your work. Enjoy life. Understand why you are doing this. Focus on the big things and let the small things look after themselves! ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Rachel Allan 1) Who Are You? 2) Achieving Balance in Your Life 3) What Is Really Holding you Back? 4) Time For Action. 5) Planning For Marketing Success ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Who are you?
Written for 1000 Ripple Effects by Rachel Allan, marketer, coach, author and mum. 13 February 2018 When was the last time you asked yourself “Who am I?” Really truly explored ‘you’. Your history, future dreams and how you show up in life today? Everybody has a story, a journey they have travelled, learnings they have made, history. Very few people have led a ‘privileged life’, we all have stories of sadness, of absolute joy. Too many people have seen the extremes of violence and felt desperation. Seen the effects of illness on loved ones, and themselves. Suffered loss they never felt they could move on from. This is your story, your beliefs, possibly even your anchors, holding you in place, unable to move. These experiences are what have shaped you to be the person you are today. They don’t have to define your future When was the last time you dreamed of a better future for yourself? Do you wish for happiness, fulfilment, clarity, freedom, or balance? You are not alone – most people do. You can change your story – and you can start today! The journey of self-discovery takes a lifetime. It takes a lifetime because you always change and grow. This is good, this is what you want to happen. What is holding you back from starting? Do any of these sound familiar:
Think about what scares you? Why does it scare you? How can you face the demon? What will motivate you to work through the bad stuff? What does fear look like to you?
Poor body image, lack of self-worth, lack of confidence, all come from lack of self-love. When was the last time you loved yourself? Wore jewellery or clothes which made you feel great. Exercised or had a massage to make your body feel great. Laughed, orgasmed – releasing the natural feel-good drug of oxytone. When was the last time you celebrated being you?
Remove negative words from your language. Replace negative speak with positive affirmations. Remove people from your life you do not believe in you. Stand tall and back yourself. Be your own personal cheer squad. When was the last time you dreamed of your future – and then plotted how you were going to make your dream a reality?
Stepping away from the noise and busyness of life, enjoying the silence, being in your mind, is important. In fact, meditation and mindfulness are key to self-discovery. Slowing your mind, allowing sub-conscious thoughts to filter through. Reduces stress, allows for problem solving and connects you with your mind and body. Where do you start on your journey of self-discovery? How do you find out who you are?
Stop being your own worst enemy! Stop lying to yourself about your emotions and feelings and start accepting them and allowing yourself to feel whatever is it you feel. If you have no clear idea of who you are, you will have no clarity in what you want or seek Self-discovery is a journey of a life time. There is no easy fix, no magic pill or fairy dust. It is constant – as you evolve and grow, you will receive new insights about who you are. The more you understand about yourself the more empowered you are going to be. A clear self-understanding will bring renewed confidence, awareness, and strength. You have a purpose. You find happiness, fulfilment, clarity, freedom, and balance in all areas of your life. What difference can you make to the world, yourself, your family and community? How are you going to show up? ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Rachel Allan 1) Who Are You? 2) Achieving Balance in Your Life 3) What Is Really Holding you Back? 4) Time For Action. 5) Planning For Marketing Success ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Written by Rachel Allan, marketer, coach, author and mum.
13 February 2018 When was the last time you asked yourself “Who am I?” Really truly explored ‘you’. Your history, future dreams and how you show up in life today? Everybody has a story, a journey they have travelled, learnings they have made, history. Very few people have led a ‘privileged life’, we all have stories of sadness, of absolute joy. Too many people have seen the extremes of violence and felt desperation. Seen the effects of illness on loved ones, and themselves. Suffered loss they never felt they could move on from. This is your story, your beliefs, possibly even your anchors, holding you in place, unable to move. These experiences are what have shaped you to be the person you are today. They don’t have to define your future When was the last time you dreamed of a better future for yourself? Do you wish for happiness, fulfilment, clarity, freedom, or balance? You are not alone – most people do. You can change your story – and you can start today! The journey of self-discovery takes a lifetime. It takes a lifetime because you always change and grow. This is good, this is what you want to happen. What is holding you back from starting? Do any of these sound familiar:
Think about what scares you? Why does it scare you? How can you face the demon? What will motivate you to work through the bad stuff? What does fear look like to you?
Poor body image, lack of self-worth, lack of confidence, all come from lack of self-love. When was the last time you loved yourself? Wore jewellery or clothes which made you feel great. Exercised or had a massage to make your body feel great. Laughed, orgasmed – releasing the natural feel-good drug of oxytone. When was the last time you celebrated being you?
Remove negative words from your language. Replace negative speak with positive affirmations. Remove people from your life you do not believe in you. Stand tall and back yourself. Be your own personal cheer squad. When was the last time you dreamed of your future – and then plotted how you were going to make your dream a reality?
Stepping away from the noise and busyness of life, enjoying the silence, being in your mind, is important. In fact, meditation and mindfulness are key to self-discovery. Slowing your mind, allowing sub-conscious thoughts to filter through. Reduces stress, allows for problem solving and connects you with your mind and body. Where do you start on your journey of self-discovery? How do you find out who you are?
Self-discovery is a journey of a life time. There is no easy fix, no magic pill or fairy dust. It is constant – as you evolve and grow, you will receive new insights about who you are. The more you understand about yourself the more empowered you are going to be. A clear self-understanding will bring renewed confidence, awareness, and strength. You have a purpose. You find happiness, fulfilment, clarity, freedom, and balance in all areas of your life. What difference can you make to the world, yourself, your family and community? How are you going to show up? ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Rachel Allan 1) Who Are You? 2) Achieving Balance in Your Life 3) What Is Really Holding you Back? 4) Time For Action. 5) Planning For Marketing Success ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Love is Freedom
Love can feel like reaching great heights when you may feel like you could burst. These moments can blind you, getting caught up in someone else’s bright light, forgetting your own light. Then, there can also be great depths of love where your compassion can easily turn to deep sorrow, and without awareness, you can miss seeing all the beautiful, good things around you and within you. Love will always be the most powerful emotion that we can all choose, anytime, anywhere and especially through any circumstance. Yes, you have read correctly, in any circumstance. You see love, pure, consistent, feel good love is all about how you receive and give it. Finding my way to love, I found me, awesome, unique authentic me. For a long time I let it be a struggle finding this place that is waiting within each of us. I let it be a fight, thinking that this was the only way to reach feeling good, having to wade through all the crap. When I stopped fighting, struggling, finally I could see the ease and simplicity in the choice of love. I started to receive love from everything, everyone and the most important person that I received love from was ME. Giving me the super power to give love anytime, anywhere. I removed every condition, every limit with one simple change….to choose love. Once you begin to allow, to receive love all the time, every step and moment of your life, well you will see. There are no words that can ever bring true justice to explaining what this will bring to you. So how do you do this? First let me give you Love’s question…. How do I want to respond? I know, you’ve read all the emotions questions now and may be thinking, can it truly be this simple. YES, it is that simple. Now to answer Love’s question for yourself…. How do you want to respond? Before you answer that there is something else that I want to share. This came to me when I when I become receptive to love and understood that the secret to life is to feel good. In all my research I kept reading and seeing lots of information about the 2 states of being – Love and Fear, or Love and Hate. My body gave me clear signs that this information did not sit well with me and I had to keep looking. You have read my blogs on all the base emotions so you’ll know by now how these emotions can have a positive effect of you. Then one day, like a beautiful flash, I found the information in me. I realised that the two states of being are – In the presence of Love and In the absence of Love Every emotion has the ability to either be in the positive or negative, in the presence or absence of love. Think about when you feel love is present, you feel good, even when others may feel different. If something feels good to you, you feel love. That right there is the presence of love. So simple, so easy, so true. Now go back to the question - How do you want to respond? When you choose to respond with love, you will always feel good. When you choose to allow your emotions to lead you in the presence of love you will find that… Fear, will lead you to what is truly important to you. Anger, will help you find clarity, understanding. Sorrow, will help you allow the lessons and to let go of what you don’t need. Shame, will help you make choices that always feel good to you. Love is the centre to each of all the emotions, when you find your way to love, you will find your freedom. When you choose to respond with love, you will create calm in all parts of your life and a complete clarity of mind. No one will be able to affect or disrupt your emotional state ever again. Through each of my blogs I have shared the purpose and the question for each base emotions – Anger, Sorrow, Fear, Shame and Love. You can now use them to your benefit, using the secret to life – to feel good. You now have the map to freedom. What will you choose to do with it? Thank you and please Remember always Be You, Feel Good Ema Borg - Unique Phoenix ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Emma Borg 1) Finding the Way Through Dark to Light 2) Hello and Welcome Emma Borg 3) Anger is the Most Curious Emotion 4) Sorrows Learning and Letting Go 5) Would the Real Fear Please Stand Up 6) Shame, the Life Changing Emotion 7) Love is Freedom ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Shame the life changing emotion
This is one of the most powerful emotions aside from Love. Love will always have the greatest power in any moment and any part of life. Shame however is still a very strong emotion. It can hold you in one place, or hide you from fully experiencing life. Shame is also an emotion that so many constantly avoid trying to feel, because it simply does not feel good in the negative side of it. Add to that you also live in a world that is desperately trying to accept and tolerate so you can be politically correct, which means that you can ignore the very emotion that can actually help you feel good in all parts of your life. Shame is our moral compass, helps you make choices, decisions that feel right to you. However being in a world that focuses more on the outside, what things look like, means that many are always looking to shame others. This is also a simple instinct of shame to make themselves feel better, because if others are doing things to be shamed for then what they are doing must be ok. This becomes a continuous negative shame cycle. You can break this cycle and use Shame for its purpose. Using it to your benefit without having to bring others down with you. First let us look at some of the ways that shame can affect you whilst blaming another emotion. In the last blog about Fear I mentioned public speaking and the ‘fear’ actually being more related to another emotion. That emotion is Shame. Some parts of what you would feel when Public Speaking are absolutely fear, remember it helps you stay focused to what is important to you. The other parts are Shame. If public speaking is something you are not comfortable about then to take a moment to think about some of the thoughts that go on in your head. Are they something like this……. What will they think of me? What would happen if I fell over? They will laugh or think badly of me if forget my words or make a mistake? Do I look ok? Do I sound ok? Am I making sense? Take another look over the above questions? These are all shame related feelings. They are all based on what others think about you and the choices you have made around your clothes, words you are speaking, how you look or sound. None of them have anything to you do with you and how you feel about you, the confidence in your words, how you feel in your clothes. They are all focused of what others think, right? You may be able to relate this to something else you have always blamed on fear. Have you got something that you now know is shame based and nothing to do with fear, or very little to do with it. What have you let shame hide you from or hold you in? Now you can turn it all around. Shame is beautiful emotion that consistently helps you makes choices that you feel good about. It is not about anyone else, only YOU. This is Shames sole purpose, for you to feel good. Shames Question – Do I feel good about my choice? When used to your benefit this emotion will have a massive impact on your life and the lives of those around you. The awareness and freedom it gives you is enormous. When you make a choices that feel good to you, it will create a lifetime of wonderful learning. When you make a choice through shame that feels good to you, it will stay with you well beyond the choice and you will always look to make those feel good choices. When you make a choice that may feel good or ok at the time but after does not feel good to you, it will stay with you in a negative space and will warp your view on you, your brain will create a story on how bad you are or even worse, not deserving of good things. Take small steps, focus on what feels good and you will turn this around. You must listen to your feelings and follow them. So simple and easy, that it will continually have a positive impact in your life. Whether it is about your health, the food you choose to eat, the actions that you take, the words you choose to speak and most importantly how you want to feel. The choice now for you is simple, feeling bad then change direction or feeling good then keep going! Next and certainly not least is Love. The most power emotion, it does have highs and lows, however I will show you the constant state that is simple and easy to be in. Thank you and please remember – BE YOU and FEEL GOOD, Ema Borg, Unique Phoenix ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Emma Borg 1) Finding the Way Through Dark to Light 2) Hello and Welcome Emma Borg 3) Anger is the Most Curious Emotion 4) Sorrows Learning and Letting Go 5) Would the Real Fear Please Stand Up 6) Shame, the Life Changing Emotion 7) Love is Freedom ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ Fear – Would the real Fear please stand up
Imagine a young girl, maybe about 6. She’s in her pyjamas, it is the middle of the night. Her Family is running down the stairs from there small apartment. She is holding nothing but air between her hands because there was no time to grab her doll or even shoes. Her mum and brother are running in front of her, she can only hear them in the dark. They are running to their neighbours’ home, to safety. Her mums’ boyfriend has come home drunk, again. He has hit her, again. This time her mum is trying to get away. The boyfriend must have passed out, as she made sure they all stayed whisper quiet. It is all a blur going into the house, it is late and no one really speaks. If they do the girl can’t hear it. All three of them lay in the neighbours’ spare bed, wide eyed, pretending to go to sleep. The girl is frightened as her mum holds her. Her brother is on the other side, very still, trying to be so brave. The girl can feel his fear too, as much as she can feel her own. Then a loud voice outside, it is her mums’ boyfriend yelling for them down the long driveway of the apartments. He calls each name and with each name comes a tear rolling down the girls face. The only words in her head are ‘please don’t find us’. The neighbours kept them safe that night, but the little girl did not sleep and as they went back home the next morning after he had gone to work the young girls mind had already started thinking about what would happen when he got home that night. That little girl is me. That feeling of fear has always remained clear to me. As I began researching emotions 5 years ago, this was clear in my mind and I started to understand that somewhere along the way fear had been given a very different meaning. It was these memories that helped me truly understand why fear has a place and what its purpose is. I could clearly see that we feel fear for our benefit. It is not meant to be for a detriment as so many want and choose to believe. Of course I felt fear in that moment, I was at age 6 running for my safety. He was a violent and frightening man when he was drunk. I can look back now and see how controlled, inauthentic he was when he was sober. The drinking just gave him permission to let go, numb the pain he felt inside and inflict it on others around him. I know now he was frightened of himself, and I only have the deepest compassion for him. Fear helped us stay safe. When we all instinctively choose to follow fears lead, it always led us to safety. Fear always wanted us to survive. I say us because in those moments it was like we used our collective fear to help us as a whole, there was no individual intention. Those moments clearly showed me that fear is the same for all of us. So what then is Fears purpose for good in your life? Fears purpose is to keep you safe. Fear only wants the best for you, to help you thrive and survive when you need to. Fear helps you know, to your very core, how important something is to you. Fear helps you focus and be present. The beauty of this emotion is that you are grounded wonderfully in the moment you are in, not in the future or past, but completely in the present. For me, now that I know its purpose and use it to its benefit, I can easily see the complicated misconception that has been built around it. Fear has seemed to get the blame for everything. Public speaking and spiders are 2 of the most commonly known fears. Take a moment to think about each of them and ask yourself why you might feel fear for either of these things? Look at public speaking. If you are not comfortable in front of people but the topic you are sharing is very important to you, then you would most definitely feel fear. Why? It is not because of being in front of people; that is a different emotion, it is because your natural instinct is asking you to be present and focus on how important this is to you. To deliver the information to the best of your ability, with authenticity. That is Fear, right there kicking in to help you. Now look at spiders, if it is a deadly spider as we have in Australia, then you are right to feel fear and want to follow your instinct to move away from it. Right there is where fear wants to help you survive. That feeling of flight or fight is there for a reason. Not to ignore and push down, but to use to your benefit. To follow what fear is telling you or yelling depending on how quickly you need to act. The two fears I mentioned used to be my biggest fears, but once I started using fear for its purpose then it changed. I can now talk in front of others with far more authenticity and confidence, and spiders I can even walk past, even be in the same room with. As long as I know they are not dangerous, like redbacks or whitetails, and even then I catch and release. Now you know why you feel fear. I want you to transform all the things you once thought were negative and turn them into a positive, understanding that this feeling, fear, is truly for your benefit. All you need to do is remember Fears question in those moments when you feel butterflies or want to run. Fears Question - How important is this to me? Watch how your life changes and you can experience all the gifts that fear gives. I mentioned before that there was a different emotion that you experience with the example of public speaking. That is the next emotion I am going to share with you, Shame. Stay with me as I lift the lid on this one and help you use Shame to help you, thrive and grow. Thank you and please remember – BE YOU and FEEL GOOD, Ema Borg - Unique Phoenix ================================================ Other Blogs Written by Emma Borg 1) Finding the Way Through Dark to Light 2) Hello and Welcome Emma Borg 3) Anger is the Most Curious Emotion 4) Sorrows Learning and Letting Go 5) Would the Real Fear Please Stand Up 6) Shame, the Life Changing Emotion 7) Love is Freedom ================================================ 1000 Stories Creating 1000 Ripple Effects Across the World! ► Follow the 1000 Ripple Effects Journey: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ► Subscribe To: 1000 Ripple Effects Youtube Channel Share this Blog. Spread the motivation. ================================================ FOLLOW US: Facebook: www.facebook.com/1000rippleeffects Twitter: www.twitter.com/1000rippleeffec Youtube: Link to Youtube Channel Website: https://www.1000rippleeffects.com ================================================ |
Stacey Huish
I am going to blog and document the journey of creating 1000 Ripple Effects across the world. Archives
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